Virus Alert
by TaShYrEi
Summary: For his laptop, he'd do anything. Even if it meant killing a certain pair of twins. [Kyouya x Haruhi]


**Virus Alert**

_Disclaimer: Ouran isn't mine…_

**Ooohhh, another KyouHaru oneshot! XD Hope you like!**

…

It was his haven of abundant information, the ultimate sanctuary of research, where half the wealth of his knowledge about everything was situated.

And now that haven was destroyed. Ruined. Devastated. Demolished. All because of a pair of idiotic twins who were always bored.

He vowed he was going to kill them. No matter what the cost.

* * *

"Access Denied." The message flashed on the laptop screen in big, bold, capital, red letters. Kyouya Ootori gritted his teeth, fists clenching like hard solid rock.

He knew there were only two people in the Host Club who were capable of hacking through his system and implanting a virus in the process—

Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, what did you do?" The Shadow King asked without looking up from his laptop, trying to keep his calm barrier intact.

The twins grinned, their smiles extending from cheek to cheek.

"Oh, nothing. We just did a little experiment, that's all."

Well honestly speaking, they were already too bored of their daily routine—teasing Tamaki to no end by flirting with Haruhi—so they decided to find a new target—and Kyouya seemed like a promising choice.

"Well then, I suggest you return my laptop to its normal condition." Kyouya demanded coldly, his stare unrelenting.

Hikaru tsk-tsked. "That's no way to talk to us, Kyouya-senpai. I thought you knew how to do business talk?"

The Shadow King raised an eyebrow at this.

Kaoru rested his chin on his palm. "Let's make a deal, shall we?"

Kyouya nodded as a cue for him to continue.

The twins linked arms and smirked. "You'll have to play our little game."

"What game?" Kyouya asked suspiciously, feeling the twins could have something up their sleeve.

"Simple." Hikaru grinned. "You have to guess the right password to remove the virus on your laptop."

Kyouya shot him a smirk of his own. "That's a piece of cake. Don't you have anything better than that?"

"Nuh-uh-uh." Kaoru wiggled his index finger. "Who said it's _that_ easy? You can't _just _guess multiple passwords limitlessly! There's a maximum value of attempts we'll give you."

The Shadow King retained his smirk. "So how many tries do I get?"

The twins exchanged wicked glances at each other. "Three."

Kyouya felt as if someone slapped his face to wipe that smirk he had on a while ago.

"Oh, and before I forget, the password's exactly ten letters long, no numbers and other characters allowed, _only_ letters." Kaoru reminded him, an evil smirk plastered on his face.

Hikaru draped an arm around the younger twin's shoulder and flaunted a sinister grin of his own. "And if you fail all three tries—" His grin grew wider. "You'll have to say bye-bye to your precious laptop." And they both laughed maniacally, their laughter very similar to those of villains in random movies.

Kyouya almost shivered. Almost.

* * *

The Shadow King pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, thinking hard.

He sighed as he placed his fingers on the keyboard, staring intently at the blinking cursor. He closed his eyes and wished for the best as he typed his first attempt.

I-H-A-T-E-T-W-I-N-S

The characters appeared as huge asterisks on the small password box. He gazed back at the screen—and pushed ENTER.

There was a flash of red splashing over and over again, combined with a sound that seemed like an ambulance siren.

"Access Denied."

Hikaru walked casually by to check up on him. "Hmmm… A wrong password, huh? One down, two to go." He laughed.

Kyouya seriously wanted to kill him that moment.

* * *

Kyouya was angrier than ever. He was having difficulty maintaining the Host Club's accounts without his laptop—and computing manually on his clipboard was giving him a headache. Much of the club's important documents were stored in it, and a virus could guarantee their early destruction.

From the couch, Kaoru grinned at the furious Shadow King. "Wanna try again?"

'Screw you, twins.' Kyouya muttered mentally. But then, seeing his laptop lying vulnerably on his work table gave him a feeble hope. So he smiled back at the younger twin, in a false attempt to keep his cool. "Sure, why not?"

He was back again with his laptop, eyes glued to the screen, deep in thought.

After a few minutes he began to type another try.

T-W-I-N-S-R-D-E-A-D

"Access Denied."

Kyouya started muttering a string of curses inwardly.

"Oh." Kyouya looked up to see Kaoru standing beside him, a smug look on his face. "A wrong password again?"

Kaoru tsk-tsked. "You do realize that you have only one attempt left right?"

"Before your laptop goes kaboom?" Hikaru smirked as he joined his brother.

Kyouya breathed deeply. He had no choice but to make proper negotiations. "Yes. What do I have to do?"

Hikaru's smirk widened. "Now we're talking."

"You see, we offer you two options." The twins grinned.

"Door number one, you can go on guessing the password on your own…" Kaoru mumbled carelessly. "Though there's a _very_ high risk of you making wrong guesses." He stressed curtly.

"Or, you can choose door number two." Hikaru proposed.

Kyouya's glasses gleamed. "What _is_ door number two?"

The twins switched cruel glances once again. "You have to **beg** for it."

* * *

"Takashi, why is Kyou-chan dressed in a maid outfit?" Hunny pulled at Mori's shirt, his bunny plush on his free arm.

"I don't know." Mori answered impassively, eyelids lowered.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, please stop this!" Haruhi insisted tenaciously. "Haven't you had enough!?" Haruhi asked stridently, her eyes never leaving Kyouya's wasted form.

"No." Hikaru replied boredly. "Besides, we haven't even started yet. All he did was wear that uniform."

"Yeah." Kaoru nodded in agreement. "And it fits him really well, doesn't it?"

"What?" Haruhi stuttered unbelievingly. "But that's mean! Don't you guys even have a heart?"

Hikaru glanced at his twin. "Do we possess such organ?"

Kaoru shrugged. "Beats me."

"Now, servant, we want you to repeat our names again." Hikaru ordered with a quick whoosh of his hand.

"Yes, All High And Mighty Masters Hikaru and Kaoru." Kyouya bit out bitterly.

"Very good." Kaoru patted his head.

Kyouya suddenly stood up, fed up with them. "Now can you give me the password!?" He spit out in rage.

"What did we say?"

Kyouya looked down on the floor, embarrassedly.

"M-May… y-you…"

Haruhi stared at him pitifully. She had never seen him in such a miserable state—it was, surprising that someone as superior as him could look so abject and exhausted. Tamaki simply shook his head sadly. Kyouya had finally met his match.

"Kyouya-senpai?" Haruhi murmured softly, ready to punch the twins if needed.

"May you please give me the password?" Kyouya pronounced in one breath, head lowered so near to the ground in utter humiliation.

Hikaru arched an eyebrow. "Hmmm? Kiss our feet first." He gracefully lifted his foot for the Shadow King to see.

"Hikaru!" Haruhi shouted at the redhead, fuming crossly for his sheer brutality.

"Fine, fine. We'll give you." Hikaru waved his hand sluggishly.

* * *

"We'll say it letter by letter so you better listen." Hikaru warned him.

"I."

"L."

"U."

"V."

"H."

"A."

"R."

"U."

"H."

"I."

"That's all. You better be thankful." Kaoru informed him. "Hikaru, I'm bored again. Let's go find something else to play." With that he swathed an arm around the elder's shoulder and both skipped off in search for something interesting.

Kyouya pushed the ENTER key—and much to his relief, his laptop became normal again. He checked his files to make sure they were secure and undamaged—and so far, his confirmations proved they were in one piece.

He smiled—his usual eerie Shadow King smile. He tried to recall the password that saved his life.

"What was that again?" Then realization dawned on him and he blushed a deep shade of crimson.

Now all he had to do was create plots for revenge and make the twins pay ten times the price.

…

**Yay. All done! XD Don't we just love Kyouya? Now tell me what you think!**


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